Post-apocalyptic gardening
Cultivation advice for survivors
The medieval “hortus conclusus,” which serves as a refuge from the turbulent outside world, represents the form of gardening that most closely resonates with me. Nonetheless, in the present day, opting to figuratively shelter oneself, turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to the surrounding turmoil is no longer tenable. Yes, I previously addressed issues regarding climatic alterations and their implications for gardens in my earlier article, but remaining oblivious to the ongoing human atrocities (actually they have been going on forever) leaves me feeling like the character depicted on the cover of an old and well-known LP.
Precisely for this reason, the publication of the article on autumn sages (or the one on flowering mechanisms) is therefore postponed in order to address, with a mixture of gravity and humour, a more pressing topic: what kind of garden should one cultivate after a nuclear apocalypse?
If you haven't been vaporized by the blast of an atomic device, you've survived the immediate burst of nuclear radiation, the fireball of super heated air, the shock wave and the ensuing firestorm, if you've somehow managed to shield yourself from the radioactive fallout that will linger, I believe garden enthusiasts among you will begin to contemplate how to tend to a garden in the short and miserable time left to spend in a ravaged world. Isn’t it?
The outcome depends on the scale of the atomic conflict and the amount of ash, dust, and smoke transported into the stratosphere, leading to the deadly effects of a "nuclear winter": glacial, arid and shrouded in darkness.
Being just a humble gardener, I won't delve into the discussions of models developed by scientists1. Instead, I'll adopt an empirical and qualitative approach. It's futile to consider the most extreme scenarios, where the entire northern hemisphere becomes uninhabitable for years, with endlessly dark skies and frigid temperatures throughout every season. In such a case, I would certainly recommend indoor cultivation (ready with the pedal dynamo?).
Consider, instead, a less dire situation, perhaps stemming from a regional nuclear conflict rather than a global one (if that's conceivable). This might result in what is called a “nuclear autumn”: cold but not consistently freezing, with limited direct sunlight but not total darkness. In such a setting, the selection of plants for your garden would be restricted but not unfeasible.
Hardy and shade-loving plants, that's what you need!
I would first mention Aspidistra elatior, colloquially known as the “cast iron plant” for its ability to survive significant cultural abuse. Unfortunately, it can withstand anything but real frost. Let's leave it aside for slightly milder climates.
Let us then turn our attention hostas. These hardy plants survive the winter by shedding their leaves. They thrive in deep shade, but dislike wind and are sensitive to drought. They bloom in summer (which we may need to omit in this scenario), and come in a multitude of varieties with different sizes, foliage shades, and variegations. Snails and slugs are fond of them: watch out for giant mutants!
Among other frost-tolerant and shade-loving plants, we should consider the shrub Skimmia japonica (Japanese skimmia) and the tree Taxus baccata (common yew), both of which dislike dry conditions. Ajuga reptans (bugleweed), a dense and rapidly spreading ground cover, as well as hellebores (lenten rose), herbaceous perennials available in a myriad of varieties with differing frost tolerances, should be contenders (consult a nursery expert if any are still around).
The evergreen groundcover herbaceous Pachysandra terminalis (Japanese spurge) and Lamprocapnos spectabilis (bleeding heart) may also be capable of withstanding cold temperatures, as should the ferns Asplenium scolopendrium (hart's tongue fern), Athyrium niponicum (Japanese painted fern), Cyrtomium falcatum (Japanese holly fern), and Polystichum polyblepharum (Japanese tassel fern).
These are the plants I would recommend, all of which I have personally cultivated.
To my fellow post-apocalyptics: please remember that while gardening is a healthy activity, it's advisable not to overexpose yourself to the external environment even during a “nuclear autumn”. Fallout dust and ash contain an abundance of long-lasting radioactive isotopes that tend to accumulate in the soil, with rather unfavorable health consequences.
That's all for now. In the event that World War III does not break out, my advice also holds true for creating a shade garden suited for harsh winters. For further guidance on these types of gardens, I would direct you to “Tales of Shady Gardens”.
Let's learn not to worry and love the bomb. Or should we?
Joshua Coupe, Charles G. Bardeeen, Alan Robock, Owen B. Toon. Nuclear Winter Responses to Nuclear War Between the United States and Russia in the Whole Atmosphere Community Climate Model Version 4 and the Goddard Institute for Space Studies ModelE. Jul 2019. https://doi.org/10.1029/2019JD030509
I'm stocking potassium iodide and putting combat edges on my best trowel, just in case.